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 Post subject: smoking related jokes
 Post Posted: Fri Oct 17, 2008 3:48 pm 
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I am just a voyeur

Joined: Thu Oct 16, 2008 4:00 pm
Posts: 8
care to share some smoking related jokes guys?



a little old but still makes me laugh LOL



Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette and continued smoking.

Lady 1: What's that?
Lady 2: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Lady 1: Where did you get it?
Lady 2: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day ... Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The guy looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but politely asks what brand she prefers.

Lady 1: It doesn't matter as long as it fits a Camel.



i also saw this some kind of blooper mini-clip video from www.puresmoking.com somewhere but i dont know where i had saved it. please share funny smoking vids also if any :wink:


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 Post Posted: Fri Oct 17, 2008 8:23 pm 
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Joined: Mon Sep 18, 2006 9:15 pm
Posts: 1137
Location: england essex
love the joke lol good one thank you fetishguy88

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 Post Posted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 4:05 am 
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I am just a voyeur
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Joined: Tue Sep 22, 2009 3:20 am
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Location: Indiana
here are a few jokes I found (i love to laugh!)

The quickest way to make a red light turn green is to go searching for your cigarette lighter in the glove compartment.


"It is now proved beyond doubt that smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics."


Three people are in a lifeboat, adrift at sea. They have four cigarettes, but no matches or lighters. How can they each smoke a cigarette?

Answer: throw one cigarette overboard, which will make the boat a cigarette lighter.



A ********** couple had been married for a couple of weeks, and the man was always after his wife to quit smoking.

One afternoon, she lit up after some lovemaking, and he said, "You really ought to quit."

She, getting tired of his nagging, said, "I really enjoy a good cigarette after sex."

He replied, "But they stunt your growth."

She asked if he ever smoked, and he replied that he never had.

Smiling and lifting her gaze to his groin, she said, "So, what's your excuse?"


A carpet installer was laying new living room carpeting in a large mansion. After laboriously pulling, stretching, and tacking the carpet, he finally finished, and gratefully sat back to enjoy a cigarette.

Reaching into his shirt pocket, however, he found that his cigarettes were gone, and looking toward the center of the room, he saw a bulge the size of a cigarette pack under the new carpeting. He of course had no intention of pulling up the carpet, so instead he took a large mallet, and pounded the lump flat, so it could not be seen.

He then hopped in his truck and headed back to the office. On the way, he found his cigarettes in the glove compartment.

Just then his cellphone rang. When he answered it, he discovered it was the dispatcher from his office. The dispatcher said that the homeowner had just called them in a panic.

It seems their son's favorite pet hamster was missing. Had the carpet layer seen the hamster while he was in the house?




The ********** doctor was carrying out research into Coal Miners Pneumoconiosis ("Coal Dust Disease"), which gradually destroys the lungs.

He was visiting the Miners Social Clubs, interviewing ex-miners with the disease. In any research involving the lungs it is essential to know whether the person is exposed to tobacco smoke - his own or other peoples.

"So, John, are you still smoking?"

"I am," replied John.

"Don't you know how bad smoking is for the lungs, especially for someone like you with "the dust"?"

"Certainly, doctor, but it's only smoking that keeps my wife alive!"

"How do you mean?" asked the doctor, clearly very puzzled.

"Well, if I gave up smoking I'd murder the bitch!"



Q. What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

A. Slow down and use some lubricant.


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